‘Whats this Noi?’

‘I brought you breakfast’

How nice, she had gone out to fetch me breakfast.  She places a large bowl on the table and picks up a plastic bag containing the breakfast, I was eager to see what she had for me.  She lifted up the bag and began to pour out into the bowl what looked like some sort of soup, indeed that’s what it was and then ‘what’s this’ something large sliding out the bag ‘OH MY GOD’ a fucking FISH HEAD.  The silly bitch had brought me fish head soup.

‘What the fuck is this darling?’ I exclaim.

The look on her face is one of bewilderment she had no idea I would not welcome this as a tasty nutritious breakfast.  I mean is she that stupid or what, a fellang having fish head soup for breakfast, nevermind any other meal of the day.

‘I’m sorry darling’ she says  ‘I dont know what you like to eat’  Not soup with a great big dirty severed fucking fish head is a start.  I mean, this is what they give prisoners in the Bangkok Hilton for a meal, and that’s about the best meal they get.

Before Mia and I really got together we had a little falling out and the night after we kind of split up, before we even got  together I met Noi.  She was very slim and very attractive and was always hanging around Bor Pangyang bar.  She approached me, like she had done many times before.  I however was in no mood at all, I was still awake having not slept for two whole days solid.  I was still wired from the previous days shenanigans and was hardly bothered to be up this late in a bar drinking in the first place.

She was of course a working girl, and so this put me off even more.  She was however being quite persuasive, even after I had told her I was tired and ready to pass out, and was not interested in paying for sex.  She said she didn’t care so long as I bought her a drink and treated her to some breakfast she was not bothered about my paying for her company.

I gave in.  We left as soon as I had finished my beer, it was getting late and the bar was closing soon anyway.  Somehow I managed to find some energy from somewhere and ended up having an amazing night, before promptly passing out, like I said I would.

Noi ended up living in my hotel with me for three more nights.  During this time I would bump into Mia in Samlo.  She was sitting in the corner by the bar.  We talked a little and she would ask me to leave this girl and take her home instead.  Of course that was not possible at the time although I wanted to all the same.

On the last day I would see Noi was the day I finally got my cards back, and was then getting ready to move the bike to a friend’s house and to where I would stay a couple of nights to save money.  The plan was to then leave for Vietnam.  Sometime after I had settled into this house, I noticed I could not find my Mp3 player.  In fact, I could not find my phone either, and where the hell had all my money gone, I was sure I had more than this stashed away.

That bitch Noi had fleeced me, it was obvious and I should have been more careful, I might have known she could not have been trusted.  The next day Mia was back on the scene and I had decided to forget for now about the thieving bitch Noi and concentrate on having fun, and with a nice girl like Mia.  We continued to party and a couple of days later would be Songkran.

It was the night before Songkran, I was in Bor Pangyang again with Mia.  Whilst we were sat having some food, I noticed Noi at the bar, on her own.  I approached and was seething with anger but managed to somehow suppress it as I approached her.  She looked shocked to see me.  ‘How much did you get for the Mp3 player Noi?’  I said

‘I.. I don’t know what you’re talking about’

‘and where is my phone and money by the way?’

‘I never steal from you!’

I gave her the opportunity to just admit it to me and I said if she did I would leave it for good and wish her a happy new year.  It was totally unnecessary but I thought a nice thing to do at such a time, under the circumstances.  She through it back in my face with a smug look and walked away.  I quickly followed grabbed her by the arm and told her, since she decided to take it this way, I would now make sure any fellang she was with would know what she was like and I wished he bad luck for the coming year.

Every time I saw her after this she would look terrified to see me, and soon she just disappeared for a long time.